Go For the Gold Laugh - Skating

I'm not really a fan of any sport where "judges" decide what the score will be. But figure skating is one of the most popular "sports" in the Winter Olympics. Here are some funny shirts related to figure skating:


I'm Not A Diva, I'm A Figure Skater


If you can't dazzle them with your performance, then blind them with sequins.


Kiss My Ice!


Thanks for the flowers, but next time wait until I finish my program.

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Don't Ya Just Love Winter?

Here are few silly winter designs to celebrate the end of January:


Carpe Skiem


Will It Ever End?


Turtle Snowball


Don't Ya Just Love Winter?

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My Purpose In Life is to Serve Others

Late January is not the time that most people - at least the ones in the Northern Hemisphere - are thinking about tennis. But to celebrate the Australian Open, the first Grand Slam tournament of the year which ends today, here are some funny tennis t-shirts.


No Passing Zone


Kiss My Ace


My Purpose in Life is to Serve Others

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My Funny Valentine

Okay, I had a tough time finding actually funny (as opposed to sappy) pro-Valentine designs. So I cheated a bit, and here is the result...


Your Love Makes Me Dizzy


I'd Like to Put My Chocolate in Your Peanut Butter


Is That a Valentine in Your Pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

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C..C..Cold as Ice!

Here we are, heading into February, and across the Northern Hemisphere it is cold!Here are ways to "celebrate" the cold on your t-shirt (or preferably sweatshirt):


I Hate Winter (A great design for dog lovers.)


Alaska - it's frickin' COLD up here!


Wicked Cold


Winter is the Time for Flakes


Whatever Happened to Global Warming?

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Watch Out For Yeti Droppings

Moving on to mythical winter creatures, how about a few designs featuring the old "Abominable Snowman", a.k.a. the Yeti:


Watch Out For Yeti Droppings


I Am the Yeti


Yeti - this one isn't funny, per se. But the Cryptozoology store is worth visiting.


Bumbles Bounce! Okay, yeti are only referred to as bumbles in ancient holiday claymation shows, but what the heck! It's still funny.

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March of the Silly Penguins

Penguins haven't been this popular since the heydey of "Bloom County", when Opus ruled the comics page. Ever mindful of fads, here are a few funny penguin designs:


Penguins: Nature's Waiters. Tip well. (2-sided design)


Pengcognito - a whole store of stuff from an odd little penguin-dominated parallel universe.


Penguin Power


South Pole Penguins - they're simply upside down with joy to be here!

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My Anti-Valentine III - Valentine Schmalentine

One more time, some more funny anti-Valentine designs for the cynical members of the audience.


Do I LOOK like I want to be your Valentine?


Bottoms Up!


Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.


Valentine Schmalentine

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We Are Robots, Hear Us Clank

Robots are one of the classic features of science fiction. Of course now the world contains real robots - at least primitive ones. Here are some funny shirts for those who love (or even fear) robots.


We Are Robots - T-shirts featuring characters from the online cartoon show.


Faithful Robot Companion - not as cuddly as a cat or dog, but so what?


Robo-Mutt 3000 - for those who prefer a robotic best friend.


Robot Fish - a symbol of the Church of Robotology from Futurama.

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Ninjas and Pirates and Zombies, Oh My!

What do ninjas, pirates, robots and zombies have in common? Quite a bit, if you listen to the people at theboxthebox.com online store. They have a series of shirt designs celebrating "crossbreeds" between the four types of "creature":


Ninja Robot - the perfect killing machine, unless you have a magnet.


Zombie Pirate - searching the high seas for booty, booze, and brains.


Ninja, Pirate, Robot, Zombie - catch the rest of the collection here.

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Go For the Gold Laugh - Hockey

One of the few indoor sports of the Winter Olympics is hockey:


Give Blood, Play Hockey


Hockey Design Store - 200+ hockey designs, many of them funny.

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Ready to Wear Insults

Tired of the drudgery of insulting everyone you meet? Not you can wear an insult on your t-shirt:


This is your brain. This is my brain. Any questions, dummy?


I will not take responsibility for your stupid ideas.


People Like You are the reason people like me need medication.


Learn to Laugh at Yourself. Everybody else does.

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Have Pun, Will Travel

The pun may be the lowest form of humor, but that doesn't stop a lot of people from putting them on t-shirts:


Pun of the Day - has a limited, but humorous selection.


Punland specializes in really small, nearly unreadable print. A visual pun?


Ken Armstrong is a graphic designer who definitely goes in for visual puns.

TomArt is a store which displays, along with some funny shirts, some strange ideas on web store section naming conventions. It has some cool photographic visual puns:

Full of Beans

Bagels and Locks

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Wacky Religions Online

They say that man has to believe in something. This need has caused a lot of strange stories and theories to be bought as fact.

The best part is that some of these wacky religions come with funny t-shirts:

One of my all-time favorite wacky religions is:

Frisbeetarianism - the belief that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and we can't get it back.


The Church of the SubGenius - Apparently this one involves somebody named "Bob".


The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster - this one is only about a year old, and yes, it does involve a Flying Spaghetti Monster, and apparently pirates.

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Peace, Love and Chocolate

Chocolate has long been associated with holidays, family, and love. But Peace? Okay, Switzerland is neutral.

Here are some more funny chocolate-related t-shirts:


Save the Earth! It's the only planet with Chocolate!


The True Purpose of Creation - Chocolate Chip Cookies


Chocolate - The Other Food Group


All I Want Is Peace, Love and a Ton of Chocolate

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Million Pixel Scams

The Internet is a great tool for propogating scams and hoaxes. One of the latest scams to come along is the "Million Pixel Page" scam. It all started in August 2005 when British student Alex Tew opened the Million Dollar Homepage. His plan was to raise enough money for his college education by selling the million pixels on his page for $1 each. With the help of heavy duty PR, and abetted by the moronically gullible "mainstream" media, last week Tew sold the final thousand pixels of his page on eBay for $38,000.

Now it turns out that the Million Dollar Home Page is getting a ton of traffic, being the flavor of the month. But hackers are currently engaging in denial of service attacks against it (I can't access the page as I write this). Even after the hackers get tired of this nonsense, the Million Dollar Home Page will quickly fade into well-deserved obscurity.

The original page isn't the problem. The real problem is the literally thousands of copycat pages which have sprung up in the past months, all claiming to have the same kind of traffic as the original. Most of the copycats have no traffic at all, except for potential advertisers.

The is gonna end up being just one more pyramid-type scheme. Alex Tew, being the first guy in and first guy out, made a bundle. Some of his advertisers even got a lot of traffic for their money, although it's the most un-targeted web traffic imaginable. Everybody else who comes flooding into this fad, particularly at this very late stage, is just wasting their time and money. The Million Pixel Page concept has no redeeming value or staying power.

All that's really left is to make fun of the whole thing. With that in mind, here are some t-shirts:


Why Didn't I Think Of It First


A Million Little Lies (Supposed to be an anti-Valentine shirt, but I couldn't resist).


Pixelssuxor - An entire CafePress store dedicated to anti-Pixel ware.

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My Anti-Valentine II - Stick A Fork In My Heart

Here we go again, some more funny anti-Valentine designs for the cynical members of the audience.


Get Lost Heart


Unicorn Skewered Heart


Love Is Just A Comedy Of Eros


Stick A Fork In It - And Call It Done.

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Go For the Gold Laugh - Curling

One of the oddest sports in the Torino Olympics will be curling.

Here are a few t-shirt designs related to this "sport".


The Curling Gift Shoppe - home of many curling designs.


Rock On


Don't Make Me Get My Broom


I Get My Rocks Off Curling - Who said Canadians aren't sophisticated, eh?

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Lucky 13

Here we go - another Friday the Thirteenth. Today a few thousand people will hide in their closets, paralyzed with fear of bad luck, or wackos in hockey masks.

Here are a few t-shirt designs related to fear of the number thirteen.


Lucky 13 (text)


Lucky 13 (with an upside-down horseshoe)


No Superstition


Superstitious Gill - bad luck on Friday the 13th.

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Winter Heat

Okay, it's supposed to get up to 57 degrees (Fahrenheit) in Baltimore today, and possibly make it to 60 degrees tomorrow. This is thoroughly ridiculous for mid-January. But it's got to be cold somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere. So here are a few funny winter t-shirt designs.


Let It Snow! Snowmen aren't just for Christmas.


Chairplow I'm not getting stuck in the snow again.


Caution - Ice Is Slippery.


Winter Wonderland My Frozen Ass!

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Chocoholics Unanimous

Winter is chocolate time. Hot chocolate really hits the spot in cold weather. And from the candy orgy of Halloween straight through until the chocolate eggs of Easter, chocolate is involved in all the celebrations and holidays. It's the time of the year when gourmet chocoholics can order from their favorite remote chocolate houses, their sugary shipments safe from the heat of summer.

But this time of year is also a time of diets, with people swearing off their favorite sweets, attoning for the gluttony of November and December. One non-fattening way to express your love of chocolate is to buy and wear funny t-shirts that celebrate chocolate.


Life is Short - Eat Chocolate - comes with Chocoholic Self-Test.


Hand Over the Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt.


Death By Chocolate


For some there's therapy for the rest of us there's Chocolate.


Carpe Cocoa - Seize the Chocolate!

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My Anti-Valentine I - Stop VD

So it's that hearts and flowers time of year again. I was looking around for funny Valentine's Day designs and found more funny anti-Valentine designs than "pro" Valentine designs. That probably isn't too surprising, considering how cynical everyone has become lately. This will be the first of three or four collections of anti-Valentine designs posted in the next few weeks.


Stop the Spread of VD - Valentine's Day.


Single = Happy - the truth they don't want you to know.


Wanted Cupid - Armed and Dangerous.


Slide the Chocolates Through the Mail Slot. Then go away.

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Everybody's With Stupid

The average human is reasonably intelligent, but the sad fact is that fully half the population is dumber than that...


Hung Like Einstein - smart as a horse.


Witless Protection Program


If Stupidity is an Indicator - the end is near.


I Don't Deal Well With Stupid

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Go For the Gold Laugh - Skiing

My family didn't ski - my mother referred to it as "sliding down a hill on a pair of bed slats". But every four years since 1968 I've enjoyed watching the world's fastest lunatics - and their bed slats - compete in the Winter Olympics. With about a month to go before the start of the Torino Olympics, it's time to start creating your funny wardrobe to amuse your friends and family while watching the games.


Ski Wisconsin - a new take from dairy country.


No Parking - Skiiing Fans Only


It's All Downhill From Here - a less than Olympic attitude.


Ski Dictionary - find out the true meaning of skiing!


Snow Crab - get 'em now, they're going downhill fast!

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Pigskin Playoffs

I admit it - I'm really not a football fan. But I'm definitely in the minority, especially at this time of year. The bowls are over, with one exception. For anyone looking for new funny football shirts to see them through the NFL playoffs, here are a few suggestions:


Trust Me, I'm A Quarterback


Armchair Quarterback MVP


Steroid Free Football


Football Not For Sissies - one for boys of all ages!

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These Shirts Are Freakin' Sweet!

Family Guy is the first prime time animated comedy show to ever be cancelled, and then picked up again, three years later, by the same network. DVD sales of Family Guy were so good that Fox was forced to rethink their blunder and order more episodes.


Family Guy character t-shirts are available from Zazzle. Most are customizable!

Now, if we could just get Fox to re-start Futurama, we'd be in business!

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Get Back to Work!

Okay, so now it's January 5th, and most of us have run out of excuses for not getting back to work after the holiday break. But going back to work doesn't mean we can't laugh, and fortunately there are plenty of t-shirts to help us.


Working Gifts has funny t-shirts specific to a wide variety of professions:


Accounting


Law Enforcement


Real Estate


Technology

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The Blog About Blogging T-Shirts

Confused? So am I.

Apparently this blogging thing is all the rage these days. (I'm fashionably late to the party, as usual.) Anyway, blogs are so popular that people have designed t-shirts to make fun of them.


IQ Therefore I Am - a real nerdware shop, has a section devoted to blogging.


BloggerWear runs an entire store dedicated to blogging t-shirts.

Hopefully somebody will blog this entry in their own blog. Then there will be a blog about the blog about the blogging t-shirts.


My Mind Is Bloggled at the very thought.

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The Cat's Meow

Funny animal t-shirts have always been popular. Today we'll take a look at some of the funniest cat shirts we've seen recently:


Hidden WMD - Weapon of Mouse Destruction.


Talk to Your Cat About Catnip


Give Blood - Tease A Cat!


Curiosity Hasn't Killed Me Yet!

I'm unabashedly partial to the last design, which features a photo of my five-year-old cat Rusty, who is curled up at my feet as I write this.

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Wacky Shirt of the Month - December 2005

Once again it's time to announce the Wacky Shirt of the Month award. This month there was a tie between two designs.

Four Calling Birds
by Just4yucks.com.

Ho Ho Oh, Shutup
by Get Loud Designs.


Wacky Shirt of the Month
Honorable Mention


Hey Fatso! ...Get Those Damn Reindeer off My Roof!
Sagart.

Santa Knows where all the bad girls live.
WearaTshirt.com.

Naughty or Nice? Decisions, Decisions.
Teesed.com.

Since November 2005 the WSOTM has been determined by votes and visits to participating t-shirt sites by Wackyshirts visitors.

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Mummers: The Other New Year's Day Parade

I grew up in Eastern Pennsylvania. Every New Year's morning my family joined millions of others around the nation watching the annual Tournament of Roses parade on television. But after that parade ended, we'd switch over to watch the rest of the Mummer's Parade from Philadephia. I always assumed that both parades were televised nationally. It wasn't until after I began spending my New Years Days here in Maryland that I became aware of the fact that the Mummers Parade was not a nationally televised event.

For those not familiar with the Mummers Parade, it has been held in one form or another in Philadelphia since the 1870s. Marchers are broken down into three major groups, the Fancies, the Comics, and the String Bands. All wear custom-designed costumes with fancy plumage and the various groups all dress to a particular theme, which changes each year.

Here are the t-shirt stores for some of the Mummers groups:


Fralinger String Band Store


Woodlands String Band Store

If you want more information about America's other New Years Parade, check out the Philadelphia Mummers Parade official website.

Happy 2006, Everybody!

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